Nothing screams “I’m a first year” or “I literally threw this costume together 14 minutes ago” or “I’m basic and I know it” quite like emerging on Hallow-weekend dressed as one of the following:
• An alien
• Any kind of cat (cheetah, tiger, house cat, etc.)
• Any 70s/80s/90s/neon theme
• A devil
• An angel
• A basketball/football player (a.k.a. just throwing on a jersey)
• A Catholic school-girl
So now, you’re probably thinking “ugh, well there go all of my brilliant Halloween costume ideas.” Fear not, though, I’m here to help. With one of the unique costume ideas below, I can promise that this year’s Hallow-weekend will be one to remember. Another plus: there’s no way anyone will peg you as a first year or a basic bitch…
A Roots Salad
For the full effect: wear all green, fill your pockets with Arcadian mix and throw it like confetti whenever something eventful happens.
The naked people painted on the entrance of Clark Hall
For the full effect: get some friends on board! A large group of people wearing nothing but tiny loincloths over their genitals packs a bigger punch than just one person.
Pictured above: many of us waking up on Saturday morning of Hallow-weekend.
A rolley backpack
For the full effect: get on all fours at the most crowded Halloween party you can find and take out unsuspecting party-goers at the knees.
An ambassador (preferably on a bike)
For the full effect: bonus points for the bike and helmet; if you’re really feeling it, bike up and down Wertland to make sure everyone’s walking on the sidewalk.
A trashcan (the beverage)
For the full effect: wear all blue, periodically douse yourself and those around you in red bull.
For the full effect: add a horse head to your Seersucker dress or suit, then casually slip into heat stroke to really complete the look.
For the full effect: roll around on the floor of the party until you’re sufficiently coated in dust and hair, then proceed to dip your nasty self into everyone’s drinks.
The architect who designed Grand Marc
For the full effect: offer to lead the way to everyone’s next destination; then take them to a parking garage and leave them to find their own way home.
In conclusion, remember, with global warming, the United States is pretty much just a big hill waiting to be swallowed up by the ocean. So don't be afraid to do something crazy this Halloween! Life's just too short. Be safe this Hallow-weekend, party people.