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If UVA Bars Were Winter Olympic Sports



University of Virginia


If UVA Bars Were Winter Olympic Sports

Can you tell I spend too much time watching TV?

Samantha Louque


As an avid steezy* skier, my most recent and new favorite way of procrastinating is watching the winter Olympics. In case school didn’t make me feel bad enough about myself, watching Chloe Kim win her first Olympic medal at the same age I got my first kiss is sure to. And where do we turn when we’re feeling bad about ourselves, UVA bars of course! So, in another attempt to delay studying for my three tests next week, I set out to decide which of my favorite Olympic sports were the equivalent of my favorite UVA bars.

Coupes: Skiing

Much like skiing is the coolest winter Olympic sport,** coupes is the coolest bar. Wind in your hair, crushing brews with your friends, what could be better?

Boylan: Hockey

Because hockey is the closest Winter Olympic sport to something people will actually watch outside of the Olympics, it only makes sense that Boylan as the sports bar will be hockey. Boylan, like hockey, also has the fun quality of having way to many fans when finals (lights on) is near.

Virg: Figure Skating

A little more sophisticated than your average corner bar, but one wrong move and you can still get a blade to the neck.

The hole: Luge

Kind of irrelevant but definitely the most dangerous.

Trin: Ski Jumping

There is no circumstance where late night trin, or ski jumping, is a good idea. You fling yourself into it thinking it will be fun, but when you fall down 30ft (aka the trin stairs) you know it was stupid.

Crozet: Curling

You only really think to go there when you have a date function, but then you remember how entertaining it can be. To quote the kid in my discussion “curling is kind of lit this year.”

Bilt: Half pipe

Its all about your run. Sometimes it goes great and you're fun drunk at survivor hour after only $7 worth of liquor, sometimes you get rejected at the door and leave with a creased fake.

If you, like me, find yourself wondering what you did with your free time before the olympics started, you must simply remember that even as The Olympics draw to a close, trin 3 will be forever (like really forever. I'm pretty sure that place could survive a nuclear holocaust).

*for those of you who aren’t steezy enough to know what steeze is (hi Grammies!) I will kindly provide you with the definition you probably came up with yourself
Steeze: the combination of "style" and "ease." The word is spelled with a z just to make it more steezy.
“Check out that steeze! Damn he's shreddin.”

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